When Your Child Holds It Together at School--and Falls Apart at Home

Your child gets through the school day—and then falls apart.

The tears. The irritability. The shutdown. The explosive reaction to homework. The complete exhaustion over something that seems small.

And you may be thinking:

“I know my child is capable. I know they're trying. So what is happening?”

Sometimes the behavior we see at the end of the day is a clue that the demands of the school day are exceeding a child's current capacity.

Children with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences, anxiety, or other neurodevelopmental differences may need more support with attention, executive functioning, literacy, emotional regulation, or the way they access instruction. These needs can be easy to miss when a child is working hard to keep up. Research supports the importance of targeted, evidence-based academic and behavioral supports rather than simply expecting a child to “try harder.”

And this is where I want families to know: you don't have to choose between supporting your child and supporting your school.

Teachers are often working incredibly hard to help. They know your child in a setting that you cannot see, and you know your child in ways they cannot. Neither perspective is complete on its own.

Collaboration is where the picture becomes clearer.

Sometimes the next step is figuring out what the behavior is communicating. Sometimes it is strengthening communication with the teacher. Sometimes a child needs additional academic support, an evaluation, an IEP or 504, therapy, tutoring, occupational therapy, or another outside resource.

The goal isn't to blame the school—or to blame your child.

It is to understand the child in front of us and build the right team around them.

I work with families to make sense of what they are seeing, identify potential needs, and determine how school-based and outside resources can work together. In addition to seeing clients privately, I also work in the schools with a small caseload of IEP students providing therapy and collaborating with a team of teachers, guidance counselors, psychologists, and administration. You don't have to carry the emotional and logistical weight of figuring it all out by yourself.

Your child is trying. You are trying. Their teachers are trying. Let's build the support around all of you.

If your family is struggling to understand what your child needs at school or at home, contact me for a free consultation at charlotte@charlottenadler.com.